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tbilisi surprises title

Now that we’re situated back in Tbilisi, I’ve had some time to stretch out, explore, reconnect, and get to know the city again. It’s something like meeting a lover after ten years, where the nooks and crannies might all be the same, but she’s wearing new clothes, has a new hairstyle, and all that. Not like I have much experience in meeting old lovers, but I imagine the metaphor works. It’s hard not to be romantic while writing this at a street café while someone tickles the ivories on a piano next door.


And these things aren’t really that surprising. We’ve been back and forth during our entire stay in Belgium, and I’ve been watching these things from afar. And of course, with my having an overgrown, innate cynicism, it means very little ever surprises me.


So, I’m going to modify what I mean by this list. It’s 5 things I’ve found most surprising were I a newcomer. I’m taking off my old hand hat and putting on some rosy glasses, letting the disappointments sink in for the first time again. Woohoo. 


Water

I was debating whether I should include water on this list or make a blog about water all on its own.


I’ll preempt this with a strange statement. Georgia is a country that prides itself on its water. If you’re not from the former-USSR, you’d probably not know this. But perhaps the most famous product that came from the Red Riviera second to wine was Borjomi sparkling water.


Tbilisi audio tour

And for good reason, all the mineral waters here are magic. Seriously. Hangover cures. I haven’t suffered a hangover here yet, precisely because there’s a 24-hour shop on my corner that sells mineral water. Just pick one up while coming home…


But that’s not the surprising thing. Here I’m talking about the tap water.


Now, Georgian Water P… P for Power? Why is that the same company? Anyway, they claim that the water is pure and clean every time they test it. Naturally they would, because they’re selling the product.


The water goes out very often. Usually they text you, sometimes they don’t. It's because they're fixing the pipes constantly, and one wonders just how well, since they're often fixing the same pipes repeatedly. That means there are leaks, so contamination can get in, and when they turn the water back on, it's often brown... yet, GWP says the water is perfect!


Tbilisi water problems
the shower bucket

What to do

With the water going out irregularly no matter what neighborhood you’re in, you need to be ready, dear reader. If you’re moving to Tbilisi, the first thing you do upon moving into a flat is get yourself a bucket and fill it up with water. Keep that bucket in the bathroom. You’ll thank me later when you’ve got to flush at three in the morning after a night of khinkali and shawarma and things aren’t smelling so great.


Second, buy two or three 2-liter bottles and keep those underneath the sink and keep one in the refrigerator or icebox. That’s for drinking water. When GWP does manage to text you in time to stock up, they also text everyone else, which often means there’s a run on the water in the local shops and you’re going to be out of luck. So better to buy it in advance and just don’t touch it.


Lastly, get an under the sink water filter. You can find them at Domino or Gorgia, or ship one in from Amazon. They're super easy to install yourself, but if you really need help, contact me or Profy.


Lifts

I have mentioned my lift before. 5 tetri up and 5 tetri down. I was really hoping that issue would resolve itself while we had gone, but when we moved back it was the same BS. See why I'm cynical? It keeps me from a great deal of disappointment in life. Now, unfortunately, the lift status means I have to not only get back in touch with my religion in hopes the dang rickety thing works (I’ve already gotten stuck a few times, but thanks to my beefy arms I crack open that door like a tin of beans), but it also means I have to carry a crap ton of coins.


And I’ve got to have a variety of coins. Because it’s not just my lift. The lift coin box is a very common reality in Tbilisi. Some are for 5 tetri, others are for 10 tetri. Well, I haven’t found a 20 tetri one yet, but with khinkali at 2 lari a nipple, it’s only a matter of time before the lift guy union calls a meeting and raises the rates.


Tbilisi lift and coin box
the coin box

What to do

You’ve got to learn some new words. I used to just hold a one-lari coin and say the same words a beggar might use. That clearly doesn’t work, as people just assume I’m a beggar. So I leveled up my vocabulary.


"Damishalet 5 tetrianebad, gtkhovt." That means, “Break it up for me into 5 tetri, please.” So there you go. Memorize that line, my nouveau akhal Tbiliselebo, you’re going to need it.


Prices

Inflation around the world is no secret. Stuff’s been getting expensive everywhere. It’s not just eggs in the US, but also khinkali and khatchapuri here in Tbilisi. I remember for a time at some economic institute, there was a guy keeping track of what he called the “khatchapuri index”, which was the rate of inflation that hit the ingredients needed to make khatchapuri. Cheese, flour, butter, eggs… a real “basket of goods”.


Khinkali Prices

Well, I don’t know about the prices of all that, but I can tell you about khinkali, those juicy meat dumplings so popular here. When I left during covid, they were running for about a lari. Fancy “sakhinklays” would charge about 1 lari 20 tetri. Now you’ve found a deal if you can slurp them down for 1.80, and about 2 lari means you’re not getting ripped off. Anything over 2 lari, avoid.


Beer Prices

The “beer index” is my other most sensitive economic metric. But coming from Belgium, beer here seems kind of dirt cheap. Then looking at my own salary—which is something the equivalent of what the average Georgian should be getting paid (mind you, they get far less), and it’s a bit more of a disaster to alcoholics across these fair mountains.


A “domestic” non craft brew these days will run you anywhere from 6 – 10 lari. It’s quite a range, mostly because Georgians have the habit of just inventing prices out of mid-air for everything. My swilleries of choice charge around 8 lari, but I’ve been known to throw down 10 when the company is good.


This is for pints/.5 liters mind you.


Which translates to something like 3 or 4 euro a pint. If you’re on a European or US budget of course, that’s still pretty cheap. Not as damned cheap as it was a few years back, and considering that nobody is making any more money than back then…


Now, for local craft beers, expect 11-16 lari. For international beers… you’re going to have to start doing some complicated maths to see if it’s worth it.  That’s about 4 or 5 Euros/USD per pint. Which I guess is about the international average.


Coffee Prices

Coffee in a café has also taken a hit on the budget, but this comes with mixed blessings. Before, coffee was 2-6 lari, but you were pretty much limited to Lavazza in paper cups (for Americans, Lavazza is like the Folgers of Italy). Nowadays, we’ve got access to much better coffee, but it comes at much higher prices. Americanos start around 9 lari, for instance, at a proper sit down place with proper ceramic mugs.


You can still get cheap paper cup coffee though, if your heart really desires the slumming experience. That’s up to you. But anyway, I’ve got a whole blog on that already.

 

Playgrounds

Over the past few years, there was a movement to make all kinds of colorful, wonderful little playgrounds all across Tbilisi. This was when my kid was first born, so that was really awesome. They even rebuilt the playground at our building. Hooray for that. There were two slides, a straight one and a curvy one, and two swing sets, a bouncy boat thing, and some seesaws.


Notice how I use the past tense. Now there is only one slide, one seesaw, and the two swing sets.


playground in Tbilisi
See that beautiful slide? :( RIP

I’m not sure what it is about Georgians and playgrounds. Do they just hate playgrounds? They actively destroy them, and nobody maintains them, so that they just become hazardous waste areas where you have to have a constant eye on your kid so they don’t end up cutting their wrists on some exposed screw-spear and dying from tetanus or the plague or whatever.

I took the little guy to another “new” playground, which was finished just last year and was being spread on City Hall’s social medias as quite the accomplishment. It featured a wooden castle, a bunch of slides, a zip line, and some swings. The castle seems to be in the process of dismantled, the wood walls being stripped for, I guess, firewood. Only the frame of the zipline still exists, and the only thing in a not-questionable condition was a swing.



After about 10 minutes, the little man gave a deep sigh and said, “Let’s go home.”


Now, in Belgium, not only were there well-maintained playgrounds every 200 meters, there were also indoor playgrounds in every neighborhood and town. Awesomeness! But well, just not here. There are a couple of amusement places that are just fine-tuned to drain bank accounts, so there’s that. Yay.


Tourist Touts in Neu Tiflis

Another thing that wasn’t really a surprise for me were the Turkish-style touts that sprang up in the newly renovated district of “Neu Tiflis” (I do have a blog on that after all). Every step you take is another representative of another restaurant begging you to come inside or to look at their menu. Back off people! If I wanted to see your menu, then I’d look.


The situation is so bad I completely avoid the district every time I’m in the neighborhood. And I even have to include a warning in my audio tour about it. But the tour also takes you to Orbeliani, where I was, at last, pleasantly surprised.


neu tiflis
A walk here leads to attacks by touts

The newly renovated district of Orbeliani has somehow avoided the fate of annoying restaurateurs with failing marketing schemes. For some reason the businesses avoid this tactic, thus making the district on the whole that much more enjoyable.


Actually, I’m not really sure if they avoid it. As I write, I do see some workers hanging out on the street. So either the natural laziness of Georgians kicked in today, which finally has a great effect—leaving tourists at peace to admire the architecture and enjoy the scenery, or they were told not to harass people. Either way, I guess I’ll be returning to Orbeliani.



 
coffee in tbilisi

Are you on the hunt for a proper cup of coffee in the vibrant capital of the Caucasus? Look no further.



The Evolution of Coffee Culture in Tbilisi


Years ago, finding quality coffee in Tbilisi was a daunting task, akin to a mission impossible. When I first arrived, ordering a “cappuccino” resulted in a cup of instant coffee topped with hot milk. Thankfully, the coffee scene has transformed dramatically. With the arrival of brands like Lavazza and Illy, small corner shops began popping up, eventually leading to general acceptance in restaurants throughout the city. Today, no matter where you go, you can find at least a decent cup of coffee.


Starbucks attempted to enter the market as well, opening in the upscale Vake neighborhood. However, it was later discovered that it wasn’t an official Starbucks, leading to a decline in foot traffic.


But what about the coffee aficionados—those who crave a meticulously prepared cup, often costing five dollars or more? I’m pleased to report that Tbilisi now fully embraces the coffee revolution. From corner shops offering aeropress to a growing chain resembling the infamous mermaid-themed coffee brand, options are plentiful.


Today, you can expect to pay 9 - 12 GEL for a proper espresso, americano, or cappuccino. While that converts to just a few dollars, it’s quite a bit for locals.



Perfect Spots for Your Caffeine Fix


If you find yourself in Tbilisi, searching for your next caffeine kick, these are the places to check out. They are in no particular order since everyone’s coffee preferences differ. Note that many of the hipster drinks tend to be lighter than what you might find in Europe or the States.


I began compiling this list back in 2019. Now that I'm back in Tbilisi, I’m diligently updating it. The cafe scene has exploded, and I find myself revising this blog—and the accompanying map—almost every day.


I have personally verified all of the cafes listed below and sampled their brews. The ones on the map include those I've only discovered but haven’t yet visited. If you stumble upon a gem, don’t hesitate to send me an email or comment wherever you found a link to this blog. Likewise, please inform me if any of these places are no longer in business.


1. Prospero’s Books and Caliban’s Coffee


Prospero's deserves the top spot as it was the first independent coffee shop to make its mark on Tbilisi. It served as a gathering place for expats during the times when instant coffee reigned supreme. Established in 1999, they began roasting their own beans and housed one of Tbilisi’s only espresso machines for nearly a decade.


The interior is spacious, offering a mix of spots for laptop users and those wanting to relax with friends. The courtyard is unbeatable, particularly in spring and summer. They also opened a similar location in the National Archives on Pekini.


2. Daily Grind


Daily Grind embodies a modern wave of coffee culture. The chic interior, friendly staff, and relaxed atmosphere make it a perfect spot for creatives. However, seating is limited, and while the croissants look appetizing, they come at a cost of 12 GEL—beyond my pastry budget.


The coffee bar at the Daily Grind
The coffee bar at the Daily Grind

3. No More Mondays


Situated near the old Soviet Printing House, No More Mondays serves excellent coffee. The atmosphere is hip and friendly, ideal for working while sipping your brew. I highly recommend their lavender brownie; it melted in my mouth. It was worth every lari I spent.


The cafe is small, but in pleasant weather, the walls open up, creating a lovely sidewalk seating area.



Exploring More Coffee Havens


4. Moulin Electrique


Moulin Electrique was one of the earliest movers to introduce quality espresso to Tbilisi, contributing to the Lavazza movement. With a cozy, old-fashioned vibe and a hidden courtyard, it's a perfect spot to enjoy coffee away from the bustling tourist areas. Remember that they also serve food, so be mindful when working on your laptop during meal hours.


5. Coffee LAB

27 Kazbegi Ave, Saburtalo


Known as the unofficial American coffee embassy, Coffee LAB is a favorite among locals and expats alike. Its spacious interior offers a pleasant workspace, and it’s surrounded by a beautiful garden. This cafe is also family-friendly, complete with a playground.



Further Recommendations


6. Shavi Roasters


Shavi Roasters offers excellent coffee in two stellar locations. With clean, modern interiors, and welcoming service, it's an essential stop for coffee fans in Tbilisi.


7. Stories


Nearing the end of a pedestrian street, Stories offers a cozy atmosphere for any coffee lover. With oversized cups and a fondness for cheerful pop music, it’s perfect for a casual coffee break.



Closing Thoughts


With numerous cafes scattered throughout Tbilisi, each presenting a unique atmosphere and vibe, I've highlighted some favorites, but the list is far from exhaustive.


Have I missed any of your top picks? Feel free to share your favorite coffee spots or comment on your experiences at these establishments.


For something to read while sipping your coffee, check out my book of short stories called Hunger, available here on Amazon.


And don’t forget to explore the coffee map below to find your next caffeine fix!



coffee restaurants Tbilisi

 

medeival festival in brussels


For one weekend only, from May 30th to June 1st, the monumental Cinquantenaire Park takes everyone back to the medieval times with the Marche Medieval (medieval market). Neo-folk musicians, beer stands, amusement rides, tight rope walkers, HEMA sword fights, tons of food stalls, and more fill up the park. Come to think of it, there’s actually very little historical medieval about it, except the mood and décor, but whatever. Suspend your constant overanalyzing of everything for just a second and have a nice relax.


And even despite the ridiculous amount of inaccuracies, it’s one of my favorite festivals in Brussels. It’s where my son saw his first “knight fight” and stirred his excitement to go to Carcassonne and see the mother of all castles. It’s also another reason to drink outside and kind of ushers in the season.


medeival times Brussels festival
The tight rope walker in 2024

Usually in May, the weather is okay and for a few hours you might even get some sunshine. But also rain. So, if you’re planning a trip to Brussels in May do bring a raincoat. Especially if you’re going to an outdoor festival, as I’ve been caught in the rain every year that I went.

The festival is free and has got plenty to do for the whole family.


For the adults

There are plenty of beer stands spread throughout the festival, this is Europe after all. But the best is a hut that’s usually placed at the hypotenuse of the fountain and the music stage. They have a two different flavors of beer: the standard Le Coque Sauvage (that’s the Wild Cock for you non-Francophones), and then another infused with smoke or some bullshit like that.


And then there’s the shows on stage, which set some mood music. It seems like every “medieval” performance is a recreation of Heilung’s Viking disco beats these days, but whatever. Still sounds like it could be medieval.


Brussels medieval music
"Medieval" music at the Marche

The food is… there are a lot of choices, but it ain’t cheap. It’s Brussels after all. The last time I ate there I had spent the entire day there drinking with my mates, and we went up to a stall, and in my drunken haze ordered a possibly triple serving—my French had completely abandoned me, and I was speaking a rather mixed jibber-jabber of Russian-Georgian-English so I had no idea what I was getting, but pretended to be fine with that even as I tapped out 30 euros on my phone.


That didn’t seem right.


But then my friend and I were looking at it as we sat back down with our food and beers and indeed, that did seem right. Crazy overpriced, but correctly charged.


For the kids

And I mentioned amusement rides! Which is something most people don’t think of when they think of the medieval times, unless you’re thinking of Tyrion with his hookers. But these things are like modern amusement rides that could have existed way back then (but didn’t).


For one thing, they’re giant wood contraptions and entirely powered by hand. There are a couple of varieties of carousels and a small Ferris wheel.



Let’s start with this huge spinning carousel. It takes three guys to start rotating the thing, and it winds up and up and up, with a rope winding around a pole like it’s May Day. Then they let it go and it unwinds. Simple, yet works quite well, getting quite some speed and dizziness up.


The small Ferris wheel has about six baskets with four children each. The two keepers just pull down on handles and set it spinning. Easy peasy.


See what I mean? These things could have existed in the medieval times, but they didn’t. Still, they’re fun for kids, and run 3 to 5 euro a ride each. And since it’s medieval times, they don’t take card. So parents, bring your cash.


Brussels family medieval market
The little man trying his skill at crossbow

They also have loads of little faire games, like crossbow shooting where you shoot dragons and ghosts, catapult launching where you try to knock down a castle with a miniature catapult, arrow shooting, rope climbing, and so on. Good times for all.


Medieval vs Renaissance Faire

The modern Renaissance/Medieval Faire in Europe has a rather circuitous route and isn’t at all original to Europe. It is, in fact, like most good things in life, an American invention.

Now I’m not saying that there aren’t festivals that have medieval styles. Not at all.


Ommegang here in Brussels has been going for half a millennium, using costumes from the original days. Rather, what I’m saying, a medieval faire for the sake of medieval faires wasn’t really a European thing.


It seems a bit silly. Especially when it’s not linked to a religious feast day, a King’s wedding, a stolen statue of Mary, or any of the other number of reasons to have festivals. It’s just literally a festival to have a festival.


World War II

A lot of things came to the United States with the GI’s coming home from World Wars, and I’m not just talking Syphilis, crappers, and Irish coffee. Our soldiers got enamored with all the burning German castles and cute French villages with the Norman and Belgian ladies tossing themselves into the arms of our heroes. And with all that, they were like, “Hey Joe, this medieval shit is cool, isn’t it?” “Oy mate, innit?” the other GI replies, trying to sound European himself.


The soldiers brought back this love of medieval stuff, exchanging their cowboy hats for coifs, that the Renaissance picked up. An LA history teacher, Phyllis Patterson, decided to hold one in her backyard, and this soon transformed into the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. Her idea was to stress some level of “authenticity”; everyone would have to wear beltless trousers, speak in British accents, and drink wine with their pinkies up, as they did.


tour brussels

The thing is though, before the age of the Internet, Americans didn’t really have an effing clue what was going on in medieval times in Europe. We basically only knew about knights, princesses, castles, dragons, elves, fairies, and all that other wild, crazy stuff going on in Europe. And so, that’s what our Renaissance faires looked like (most of us didn’t really realize “Renaissance” was well out of “Medieval Times” anyway, but we’d still have a restaurant chain happily blending the eras).


I grew up in love with the medieval world, going to every Renaissance Faire that I could (my favorite was just south of Denver, where they had built a fairly decent-looking and legit castle—I say legit because it’s just as legit as something like Neuschwanstein, which was wholly built to cater to Ludwig II’s gay orgies; I’m not sure what the difference is here, except I guess his parties were more fun).


A quest for identity

And now we come back to the Brussels Medieval Market. This isn’t your old-fashioned feast day faire or flea market (Brussels has plenty of those too). This is all the stereotype and virtuosity and suspense of belief as the medieval Americaine has, full of wizards, elves, and burly Germans showing off their man-tits.


For me though, having grown up in a world pre-Internet, where even the prospect of watching a jousting match in friggin’ Tulsa, Oklahoma was a mind-blowing explosion of awesome, it was interesting to see the European versions of medieval festivals. Even the fighting, HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts), found a rebirth in the US before being re-imported back into Europe. John Clements was an American pioneer in reconstructing medieval and Renaissance fighting techniques.


Before HEMA was reimported, most “traditional” styles revolved around foil fighting in sports clubs. This of course, looks legit, but when it comes down to it, fighting with a foil and a rope tied to your back is a far cry from half-swording and jabbing blades between armor gaps.


HEMA knight fight in Brussels
Guys anachronistically bashing each other

But it makes sense that these things were American. You have lots of Americans who know they generally come from Europe, might only have a vague idea of which country, certainly not know the language, and are mostly just gravy-fed history about it. And so there are questions. “Where are we from?” “What should my traditions be?” and so on.


The quest for Black identity, which asks those same questions, but for the reason of them being ripped from their roots, is very much mirrored by White identity, since most Whites don’t know where the heck they came from either (and for the last time, you’re not from Ireland, even if you are drinking a Guinness on St. Patty’s).


So with this struggle to find who they are, the thirst to really dig into history and "identity" is much stronger for Americans, I think. Europeans, by and large, know who they are and where they stand. They’ve known that for centuries.


brussels medieval market
Strolling, drinking, eating...

So is it a real surprise that we’re all excited about Tolkien and elves and knights and that kind of thing? And since that stuff is actually all good fun, is it any surprise that Euros were like, “Well, why not have an elf join us for a beer?”


Cinquantenaire Fun

This weekend will mark the 30th anniversary of the Etterbeek Medieval Marche, which is why, I suppose, they made it a bit later in the month. 30th anniversary on the 30th day, something like that. Or maybe they figured it was less likely to rain, who knows?


But the Cinquantenaire Park was made for festivals like this. And those big, Roman-looking arches really set the atmosphere for medieval fun.


At the end of the day, everyone is looking to find out who they are, where they belong, and what makes them who they are. And this is all just a part of that. So enjoy a Savage Cock and give me a toast.

 

 
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