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hearts of London

A few blogs ago, I wrote about what to do if you’ve got a night in London, which included walking around Covent Gardens and seeing Phantom of the Opera. Those of course, are pretty obvious things to do, so I’m going to continue on that trend of what Captain Obvious would suggest for during the day.

We had two days total. As I’ve mentioned before, the metro is an overpriced swamp, a veritable thieving scheme put on by the City of London. The trains commonly don’t run on time and the navigation is something like trying to find your way through a room of spaghetti noodles. Avoid it. Instead, hop a ride on one of London’s famous double decker buses. They take you everywhere you want to go, tend to go in straight, navigable lines, and cost only 1 pound 50. I’ve already detailed the gist on the transit here.

I also can’t recommend enough the Z Hotel. Cozy—hotel talk for comfortable and super tiny—rooms that are affordable, offer a nightly deal of unlimited wine, and right in the center of the city on the Strand. So our tour started here.

The Strand

We started at the Z, but this tour works fine enough starting from Trafalgar Square. This is pretty much the main square of the town, with a column dedicated to Horatio Nelson, who managed to beat Napoleon’s Navy at the Battle of Trafalgar post-mortem.

The Strand isn’t really the most exquisite of streets in London, but it does contain the obviously Harry Potter-inspired Royal Courts of Justice. It’s a massive complex built in the 1800s in the Victorian Gothic style, a style of architecture so immense, that they named it after the woman with the most immense Empire in the world.

The Royal Courts of Justice

The Royal Courts of Justice houses the High Court and Court of Appeal, and functions basically as the American Supreme Court. As England still lacks real codification, some can say this is the seat of real legal power in the nation. That said, there’s a whole complex working of court bureaucracy tied up with the Crown, and I’m not going to even pretend I know anything about it, just that it’s stocked full of moms and m’luds.

Because of the location of the Royal Courts, this area has become famous for its abundance of legal offices and schools. It’s known as the Temple district, because at one point in time, it was a hot hang out for the Knights Templar, who built a church there in the 12th century. When the Knights Templar were dissolved, the possessions went to the Knights Hospitaller, who started renting the properties out to law firms. Henry VIII dissolved the order, swiped their land and continued the practice. The Temple now houses what is basically the same as the American Bar Association, and they pay for 10 quid in annual rent.

St. Paul's cathedral and the best London transit

The Strand took us to St. Paul’s cathedral, the biggest and first of all St. Paul’s churches in London. There’s been a church at this site named St. Paul’s since 604 AD, with the present construction dating from the 1600s. It’s made in the English Baroque style. Which makes sense, because being the premiere Protestant church of the time, it’s best to model your structures off of the Vatican.

Bankside

From St. Paul’s, we went down to the Millennium Bridge, a pedestrian walkway going over the Thames with nice views of the London skyline on either side. The Bridge takes you to the Tate Modern, one of the better museums in London that was built out of an old power station. Like all state-owned museums in London, its free to enter and walk around. A donation is required though if you want a guide-brochure telling you what exactly is relevant to see.

a view the Shard from Millenium Bridge

Like all modern art museums, it’s filled with a lot of incoherent mumbo jumbo composed by art majors in black turtlenecks pretending to be philosophers. The result is a neat looking tower of radios, some Communist manifestations, and a room full of rocks.

An exhibit at the Tate

From the museum, we followed the boardwalk past Shakespeare’s Globe—it’s not the original, but it is a mostly accurate replica and you can watch shows there in the summer. Further down through some tight streets we found the Golden Hinde, a replica of the very ship that Sir Francis Drake sailed in while running away from the Spanish Navy with all their booty, accidentally circumnavigating the world. He was the first captain to make the journey alive, and it was entirely basically a bank heist gone wrong. I'm not really sure why that's not a movie.

The Globe Theatre

Continuing along, one runs into the very beautiful and quaint Southwark Cathedral, which is right up along the largest street food market in London, the Borough Market. Continuing along this stretch took us by the HMS Belfast, a royal Navy museum on a fairly modern vessel sitting on the Thames, then finally to the Tower Bridge. If you’ve got energy to spare along with about 11 quid, the Bridge Exhibition is pretty interesting, showing you the mechanics of the suspension mechanisms.

The Tower Bridge and the Tower of London (on the left)

The tour ended at the walls of the Tower of London. Unfortunately, so did our wallets, but since we’ve seen about a hundred castles at this point, we marked up a tour of the grand White Tower for our next trip. You’ve got to save something for the next trip after all. Check back Friday for more views on the walk.


"A picture is worth a thousand keystrokes," a photographer reader said to this writer. He suggested adding more photos to the blogs. I'm not much of a photographer myself outside, but I do take a lot of pictures. Why not put them up for everyone to enjoy? This is then, a continuation of our journey to Hallstatt. Enjoy.

This is also a call to anyone who has ideas on how to improve this blog of the vblog series, let me know! Leave a comment below or send me a message from the main site.


Where Cesky Krumlov is disguised as a sleepy tourist town that can actually hold up to a mean party, Hallstatt is exactly what it pretends to be. A sleepy tourist town.

a view of Hallstatt from our hotel

It’s a tiny village hanging tightly along a mountainside, appearing as though at any moment it might slide off into the freezing mountain lake. The sprawl extends southward, into modern hotels and campgrounds, with hiking trails spidering outward from there. There’s a cable car that takes people upward to an incredible view and a salt mine, and a lager stocked boat that takes people across the lake.

The weather--like any place in the mountains--is a bit dodgy, making firm plans untenable. But if you’re flexible, willing either to spend the day in the sun on the beach, swimming, biking, or hiking, or walking in the rain and having heavy Austrian lagers from a heated restaurant that closes at 8, then Hallstatt is the place to be.

We went there last September, driving from Prague. The drive there is interesting to say the least. The Czech roads are characteristically bumpy and narrow, but into Austria it’s eerily broad with lots of tunnels. Austrians have some sort of construction fetish for tunneling, where autobahns go for miles and miles underground for seemingly no reason, except to circumvent a rapeseed field or something rather. Who knows. You can’t know, because you’re underground.

Then into the mountains. More tunnels. The GPS was not reliable here, always taking us the least scenic route possible. I once had a predilection against visiting the Alps in the winter, but now I know there’s really nothing to fear, since it’s possible to stay underground for nearly the whole drive. Do beware though that you should stop at a gas station near the border to get a highway sticker. For us it wasn’t possible until Linz, as there were conveniently no exits from Czechia until the large industrial city.

there's no shortage of beautiful villages in Austria

We were above ground at Linz, but just as soon as the land started to rise, we were below ground again. I had enough of that, so I switched off the GPS and guided us to an old highway. I wanted to see the small Austrian mountain villages on the old highways of yesteryear. Indeed, most of those roads were well kept, and the dozens of hamlets of half-timbered houses and generous spire-filled backdrops were worth the slower journey.

Hallstatt's main square

From Prague, there are two ways to Hallstatt. One is from the direction of Salzburg, and the other from Vienna. From Salzburg it’s fairly straight forward, above ground beautiful driving, and it also includes pretty much the only place to grab a breakfast in the whole region. From the Vienna direction, you have to drive over the only mountain the Austrians didn’t tunnel through for some reason. Straight up and straight down, with the near precision of Roman engineering, nobody stops roads leading to Rome, after all.

When we got there it was pouring down rain. The whole time actually, it was doing that. So we were left to the romantic strolls and beer stops. No problem there. As a formality, the local marching band—yes, there’s a local marching band—decided to don full feathered Austrian mountain regalia and play some tunes in the street, inviting everybody inside into the concert hall, with a pre-concert (and post-concert and whenever you’d like) shot of schnapps to keep you interested in the John Philips Sousa and West Side Story renditions. It was a blast from my past, when as a child growing up I was playing saxophone in a marching band known for playing West Side Story. Duh duh dun duh dun, duh duh dun duh dun, Mambo!

a view from the northside

Hotels there are less pricey than I expected. You can stay at Obertraun across the lake for even cheaper, and take the ferry in during the day. As the place shuts down at night, it’s not so necessary to overnight in the town, as we did. We stayed at Pension Hallberg, which was a comfortable place with small, warm rooms, beautiful views of the lake, and a strange collection of Nazi memorabilia. But there was no one there to question about it, since they email you a code, you get the key in a box outside, open the door, and see behind the glass along the walls random items with the Hakenkruez displayed.

random Nazi stuff in the hotel

Don’t bother driving into the town, as it’s impossible. Rather than plowing through swarms of Japanese and American tourists, it might be better to just park it in the new section of town, and walk the beautiful boardwalk into the center and find yourself the right schnitzel there.

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